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Sadness
2005-03-17, 8:41 p.m.

So I'm sitting here with a smiling vocal baby, crying my eyes out. I'm sure people would call it post partum depression. I'd call it another form of rejection. I wonder what it is about me that causes men to not want to be with me. I've been told several times that he is appreciative I am not like the wife who calls several times a day and screams at her husband or nitpicks.

Tonight he runs out the door to meet with a gaming buddy. I could tell he was happy to go. He had been planning this for a week. He never has done that with me. I have yet to have him want to go out with me and act that excited about it. He makes no effort to spend time with me solo. So I have to sit and wonder what it is about me that causes this. I seem to choose people that are obsessed with something, whether it be computer or in this case, gaming stuff. He'll do just about anything to get out and do this. He makes sure that he gets his "solo" time. That's great. It's great to be an individual. But he doesn't put near as much effort into spending time with me. In fact, he puts in no effort.


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