Fine. I get it. Enough already. I am watching. See, there is a cool calm collected girl perched in my brain. She has it all under control. She is tudying me, and my drama. She knows what is going on and keeps notes.I keep makign stupid choices. She sees them and from time to time comments on them. Thats okay too.
you all think I have lost my mind. Chasing after that little bastard. Passing up food, and ocassionly making trips to the bathroom when I don't.
I'm going to go into hiding. I'm going to hide my fat ass away and not come out till I am thin again, and then you wil understand why I did it. You can't see it now, but my god I am bueatiful. I let this fat bitch swallow me whole. You look at me and the fat girl is all that you see. YOu still tell me I am pretty.
Pretty. Yeah, and I have a great persoanlity too. So fucking what. That won't even earn me bread and water. In a world created for the smart and gorgeous I am losing the race. I was not meant to be a loser.
He may be a bastard, but he knows me for what I am, a vixen. A women who reeks of all things sexaul. He knows that I can be more than what you see. With so much at risk so what if the method of attaining perfection is dangerous- is it not as harmful to move slowly let my youth dwindle into one fat day after another.
I have made a descion.
I am going to dissolve.
The cool calm collected girl in my head, puts pen to paper, and shakes her head in shame.
-Adipose Who fucking else
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