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drunk girl on girl sex- yeah I am a dumbass
2003-02-17, 6:05 p.m.

If it is possible to make things confusing and odd I�ll be the girl who will do it. Valentine�s Day was great and awful and now is a hook in my stomach that I can�t throw up, and I am being reeled in by an unaware fisher girl. I�ve never known how to say no to sex. A. My limbo is way beyond out of control and B. I feel like I don�t have the right to say no. Not that I wanted to on a carnal level. The girl was/is hot and a friend of mine. There wasn�t supposed to be any oddness. We were supposed to be comfortable with each other afterwards. I had had 18 shots of Tequila. I was drunk. She started it, damn it. It�s not my fault. I really only have one friend in this town and she is it. So I can�t stand the idea of losing her. We are acting like everything is fine but with me it really isn�t. I want someone to want me, to love me, to desire me so badly that the least little provocation will send me over the top. I will listen to songs on the radio and think this is �us�. There is no �us�, only two girls who got drunk and had sex and are pretending that everything is normal. I feel like shit. I really need someone. Need is a horrible word. There is a desperation attached to it. Someone want me please, everything I do conveys that thought. It is my all consuming loneliness that makes me alone. Funny little Catch 22 isn�t it. Someone make this better. Someone reply. Someone have a fucking thought and share it with me. I need advice, I want a reply. I want to be real to someone even if only in pixels.

Beyond Neurotic

Adipose

http://adipose.diaryland.com

[email protected]


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