when kate first went off to college was when things began going downhill. our great sex life faded and a two hour drive made conversations tense. when we were together things remained happy, but weekends are short and dorms are small.

originally we were going to break up as soon as she went off to college. but our relationship became much more solid as that date approached. and the school she went to ended up being much closer to home than her first choice. so we decided to give it a shot.

christmas break was tough. she stayed with me in my fathers house. we both have bad associations with the season like most people. i knew we were growing distant but somehow when i dropped her off at school after new years i thought things had gone pretty well over all. about a week later the we-need-to-talk's started and she pulled the plug a few days post.

today i went to visit her for the first time since we split. i needed to bring her some mail and i really wanted to see her again. which somehow allowed me to overlook how unpleasant the trip might be. although the visit played like a slideshow of how much fun we have together and how well we get along it was simply a reminder of how much i miss her. i kissed her, and most of our time was spent in each others arms.

in addition i overlooked how horrible it was going to be trying to get myself to leave her. i'll not see her until school ends, or maybe late summer. the whole thing was a goddamn water park of tears.

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